* Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
* You can share your Guitar with your friends.
* Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
* Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
* Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
* Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
* You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
* If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
* Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
* Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
* You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
* If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
* You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
* You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
* Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
* Guitars don't get headaches.
* Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
* Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
* Guitars don't care if you're late.
* You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
* If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
* You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
* The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
* When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.